fredag 31 oktober 2008

Rolly

Sonys mp3-spelare Rolly har kommit till Sverige nu.
Vill haaaaa......

Fubbick vecka

Vilken vecka det har varit på jobbet. Jag måste ha lyckats göra en Chandler och somnat på ett viktigt möte där jag blev utsedd till att göra allt jobb. Det började ju bra med att mailboxen var överfull när jag satte mig vid datorn i måndags, kan man tänka annat än jösses?


Dessutom gjorde jag en smärre tabbe i veckan. Jag kom hem från jobbet och var ganska så stressad. Tänkte att jag skulle hinna springa till affären innan den stängde. Sprang upp till lägenheten för att dumpa lite grejer, fick syn på min gigantiska hög med reklampapper som jag har samlat på mig. Grabbar tag i högen och på väg ner i trappen så tappar jag givetvis en del reklamblad.
- Piss (ett uttryck jag brukar använda när det skiter sig).
Nån sekund står jag där i trappen och funderar på hur jag skall lyckas med konststycket att få upp de där satans reklambladen.
- Jag kan hjälpa dig.
Då står det en söt tjej som jag inte sett förut längre ner i trappen.
Irriterande står jag där och balansera min förvuxna hög av reklam. Hur lång tid kan det tar att plocka upp de där satans papperna och vad fan glor hon på.
Tillslut har hon iaf lyckats samla ihop reklambladen och ger mig dem.
- Tack, väser jag och fortsätter stressa nedför trappen.
Inte förränn jag har slängt skiten i pappersinsamlingen slår det mig, om jag bara hade varit vänlig och visat lite intresse så hade hon säkert följt med in i lägenheten på en kopp kaffe och lite pill.
Jävla fubbick.

fredag 24 oktober 2008

Har Qruiser blivit en rekryteringsight?

Har fått ett jobberbjudande, lite sugen är man allt.

Hej,
Mitt namn är Linda och jag är strippa och hjälper även till med att hitta fler strippor till Sveriges och Nordens första seriösa Stripp Agentur för jobb utomlands? Du är jätte vacker!!
Om du är intresserad kontakta oss på ... pip (ingen smygreklam här inte)
Vi finns på www....pip

Kanske var man helt fel ute när man pluggade på högskolan. Man skulle ha blivit strippa helt enkelt. Men det är aldrig försent med att byta karriär, det skulle dessutom se jävligt nice ut i CVn:

- 200x Summer Strawberry picker
- 200x - 2008 October Something
- 2008 October - present Multitalent Stripper

torsdag 23 oktober 2008

Les Schtroumpfs 50 år


Idag fyller smurfen 50 år. Det måste man fira!! Smurfen kom till på 1950-talet ritad av belgaren Peyo. Vem kommer inte ihåg de små blå figurerna som inte var mer än "tre äpplen höga", drack hallonsaft och bodde i märkliga svamphus.

För att fira detta begav jag mig på afterwork med grabben i kvarteret bredvid tillsammans med resten av kollegerna. Vi smurfade givetvis några öl och åt god mat. Dessutom pratade vi smurf och annat smått och gott. När vi hade smurfat färdigt var det dags att bege sig hemåt och smurfa till detta inlägget.

Jag kommer lätt att köpa den nya smurfhitsskivan (om det nu kommer en sådan) och lägga den på bokhyllan. Sen när jag är pensionär om sisådär 35-40 år kommer jag att plocka fram skivan, damma av den gamla bluerayspelaren och tänka var störd jag måste vart som köpte denna men att jag måste haft ett väldans smurfigt liv.

onsdag 22 oktober 2008

Bubble Trouble‏

Jag tänkte börja den här bloggen med ett inlägg från ett mail som landade i min brevlåda. Det var så hysteriskt roligt att den är värdig att inta mitt allra första blogginlägg.

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Below is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times.

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you, S. Berman
Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instruction from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid
Dear Maid,

I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed to do by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Your regular maid,
Dotty
Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenince. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you,
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you,
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one %*!# bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally reuturned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

-on shelf under medicine cabinet, 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
-on Kleenex dispenser, 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
-on bedroom dresser, 1 stack of 3 Cashmere bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
-Inside medicine cabinet, 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
-In shower soap dish, 6 camay, very moist.
-On northeast corner of tub, 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
-on northwest corner of tub, 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman